Responding with Kindness

For most of us, physical distancing is getting old. We are tired of being cooped up at home. We are ready to get back to family, friends, work, school, and fun that has been put on hold. And the longer we are separated from “normal life”, the crankier some of us are becoming.

Since much of my recent interaction has been on social media, that is where I have noticed this trend the most. (But I know it is happening in our homes, too.) People are criticizing friends and strangers. They are making assumptions, defensively over-reacting, and just plain being rude to others. It is exhausting to take part in these conversations and heart-breaking to observe them. They have the potential to rob us of far more life and steal our joy. But that does not have to happen!

How do we keep our own negativity in check? How do we respond to others, especially those who are attacking us? As we look to God’s Word for guidance, we recognize that WE can be negative and attacking toward Him during our times of fear, worry, and doubt. He sets the perfect example with His response to us:

Are you, perhaps, misinterpreting God’s generosity and patient mercy towards you as weakness on his part? Don’t you realise that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance? (Romans 2:4, PHILLIPS)

But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us… (Titus 3:4-5, NIV)

It is tempting for us to think we need to fight back, put others in their place, or ensure that we are understood. We can even think those show our strength. But those are often fleshly emotional responses. God had every right to blast us with His righteousness, yet He offered us kindness. Because He loved us. Since God’s Spirit lives inside those who have accepted Christ, we have the power to offer kindness, too. Far more life responds to offenses in love with kindness.

The Greek word translated “kindness” in Romans 2 means “usefulness”. This word can also be translated as goodness or gentleness. Kindness is practical, it meets needs. My pastor describes kindness as the initiating part of love that blesses others by meeting practical needs. Sometimes kindness is expressed by doing things for people: taking a meal; babysitting for free; giving them a ride; or helping them with physical projects like moving, home/car repairs, or yard work. At other times, kindness is expressed through words that are helpful to them: checking on them when you have been out of contact; praying with them for a burden they are carrying; encouraging them during a hard situation they face; or speaking the truth in love with gentleness and respect when they are seeking input.

Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up. (Proverbs 12:25, NIV)

Love is patient, love is kind… (I Corinthians 13:4, NIV)

God looks beyond the surface to the heart, and we are wise to do that, too. Often negative speech is driven by emotion; fear, anxiety, or feeling threatened causes people to be defensive and territorial. Conflict resolution strategies start with listening and stating agreement with something the other person said. Reigning in our emotions and communicating that we value the other person (even if we disagree with their statement or action) is a practical way to show love and offer kindness. Sometimes that alone de-escalates the situation and opens the door for further communication and understanding. Other times that starts us down a good path, but we must invest time and more kindness to bring things back to an even keel. But there are times the kindest thing we can do is to graciously leave the conversation and pray for God’s wisdom on how to best express love and kindness moving forward.

What else does God’s word tell us about kindness?

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32, NIV)

…When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly… (I Corinthians 4:12-13, NIV)

And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God. (Ephesians 2:6-8, NIV)

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. (Colossians 3:12, NIV)

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. (2 Timothy 2:24, NIV)

Kindness is a gift we have received from God. Not because we deserved it, but because He chose to give it to us. And He asks, expects, and empowers His children to bless others with this gift, too. The goal of our kindness is to reflect God’s character. This not only gives us far more life but demonstrates God’s love to others. Kindness is one of our Christian superpowers!

Far more life is a benefit of conforming ourselves to Christ’s character. It makes us happy because it brings us into fellowship with God. But His purpose in granting us far more life extends beyond our happiness. It enables us to display the light of His character to a world that is shrouded in spiritual darkness. Our expressions of far more life — our kind words and actions — are a beacon that illuminates God’s presence and power. In this season of widespread fear and uncertainty, kindness shines bright! Let kindness be a way you share far more life with those who are seeking Jesus!

Sisters,
How have you experienced God’s kindness?
When has someone shown you kindness? How did it impact you?
Think of the times you are tempted to be unkind. What negative emotion(s) drive you in those moments?
Which verse on kindness hits home and inspires you?
Seek far more life and watch for opportunities to be a beacon of kindness!
-Shari

Copyright 2020, Shari Damaso


Far More Jesus

Songs of the Christmas season say we should feel wonderful, jolly, merry and bright. But instead we often feel stressed, stretched, buried, and exhausted. It is easy to get caught up in the rush and forget that we cannot give from an empty reservoir of time, energy, and warmth.

Stop for a second and remember why we celebrate Christmas. It is not about gifts, parties, concerts, decorations, lights, trees, or cards and letters. It is not even about family traditions and gatherings. Christmas is about Jesus, the celebration of His birth and the hope, peace, and joy that He brought to earth. Consider His words on this:

“…I came to bring them life, and far more life than before. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd will give his life for the sake of his sheep.” (John 10:10, PHILLILPS)

Jesus brought us far more life. Not far busier life or far more exhausted life. He brought us far richer life and far deeper life. He gave up His life so we could have far more life.

Here are some of the gifts Jesus has given us:

  • Forgiveness. “But it was because of our rebellious deeds that he was pierced and because of our sins that he was crushed. He endured the punishment that made us completely whole, and in his wounding we found our healing.” (Isaiah 53:5, NLT)
  • Love. “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” (I John 4:10, NIV)
  • Joy. “You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.” (Acts 2:28, NIV)
  • Peace. “Since we have been made right with God by our faith, we have peace with God. This happened through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Romans 5:1, NCV)
  • Patience. “…We are together in Jesus, and we share these things: suffering, the kingdom, and patient endurance…” (Revelation 1:9, ERV)
  • Kindness. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32, NIV)
  • Goodness. “…We ask our God to help you live the good way he wanted when he chose you. The goodness you have makes you want to do good.” (2 Thessalonians 1:11, ERV)
  • Faithfulness. “The path we walk is charted by faith, not by what we see with our eyes.” (2 Corinthians 5:7, VOICE)
  • Gentleness. “Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.” (Philippians 4:5, NIV)
  • Self-Control. “We’re being shown how to turn our backs on a godless, indulgent life, and how to take on a God-filled, God-honoring life.” (Titus 2:12, MSG)
  • Hope. “I pray that God will open your minds to see his truth. Then you will know the hope that he has chosen us to have. You will know that the blessings God has promised his holy people are rich and glorious.” (Ephesians 1:18, ERV)

The gifts Jesus offers us are not wrapped and waiting under the tree. Through the Holy Spirit, these gifts are alive and active inside the hearts of God’s daughters. These gifts will not break or get lost or stolen. They are guaranteed to be yours forever! And they will never wear out; in fact, the more consistently you use them, the stronger they grow. Forgive quickly and respond with kindness when others offend you this week. Prayerfully choose gifts that express love rather than obligation. Let the music fill you with joy and hope as you reflect on the meaning of Christ the Messiah coming to earth. Rest in peace as you enjoy the beauty and calmness of the season’s lights.

Focusing on God’s gifts — and sharing them with those around us — enables us to feel wonderful, jolly, merry, and bright, even during the busy season of Christmas. Unwrap them today and begin savoring those that are most meaningful. Let these gifts fulfill you and add far more life to your day…and every day ahead!

Sisters,
What song lyric or phrase describes you during the Christmas season?
What aspect of Christmas is most important to you? Does this add to or detract from your celebration of Jesus?
Which of the gifts listed is most meaningful to you today? What will help you remember to savor it during this busy month?
Enjoy far more life as you celebrate Jesus’ work inside your heart this week!
-Shari

Copyright 2019-20, Shari Damaso